Dreidel Bear

What would the midwinter celebrations be without a story from Surfer Girl? (My annotations are in parentheses.)

Dear Hooker (her pet name for me persists),

A college friend and I were on our way back to New Jersey after spending a debacle night in Philly visiting another college friend. We were (driving) on (Interstate) 295 when we decided (that) salty McDonald's fries were a must. We got off at the Jacksonville exit (close to Exit 5 on the NJ Turnpike) after seeing those beautiful golden arches.

As soon as we got off (the interstate), we saw a store called Seasonal World. (I Googled it. It exists.)

Our reaction was: "What the fuck is that store all about?!"

They had those giant blow-up characters of Santa, snowmen, etc. over the entire front of the store (ten to be exact), plus giant blow-up candy cane arches, and many more over-the-top, ridiculous decorations. It was also a place that had pools and Jacuzzis, and they had three areas built to show customers how fabulous their backyards could be.

Since it was unseasonably warm out (at Seasonal World), we thought it would be hilarious to jump in the pool and start playing Marco Polo until someone kicked us out.

First we got our fries.

Then when we went into one pool area, we found out the water was ice cold. After seeing (that) the Jacuzzis were empty (no water), we decided to go check the other pool area in front of the store. At one point, my friend was bouncing on the diving board and I was sitting on the slide, when we noticed that this pool must come with its own black plague. A lovely dead mouse was floating in it.

We were unsuccessful at getting kicked out, so we took a break at the picnic table, finished our fries, and waved to traffic.

Now it was time to check out those ridiculous blow-up decorations that stand about six feet. As we went down the line of xmas characters, we noticed a polar bear holding a big dreidel, sitting by the opened door entrance. We stood in front of it laughing that there are no polar bears in Israel.

Since we were discussing the recent news stories of people being offended by xmas decorations (especially the Seattle Airport that had to take them down), I went up to dreidel bear and yelled, "Fuck you dreidel bear, you're not going take our xmas away," and then proceeded to kick him in the dreidel. Twice. My friend was now doubled over from laughter.

Next, we went around the side of the building that had a tentful of these ridiculous blow-up characters. Only a small rope kept people out, so in we went. They were all bunched together so we started bouncing off of them, playing hide-n-seek, and at one point, trying to get inside the giant snow shaker.

Again we could not believe we had not been thrown out. So we left. As we were going back to the car, I pulled dreidel bear's plug.

My friend then said I should say goodbye to dreidel bear with my megaphone. Since I love my megaphone, I thought it was a brilliant idea. As we drove off, I sounded the first alarm for attention. Then I yelled, "Fuck you dreidel bear. Stop trying to ruin our xmas. You'll never take it away."

As I was making my farewell, all ten blow-ups deflated. I apparently pulled the master plug.

I am not sure which is more demented: me kicking a blow-up polar bear with his dreidel, or the fact that we were completely sober.

It was the best xmas moment i have ever experienced. (Almost. Click here for more.)

Yours sincerely,

Surfer Girl

Comments

[White Dimonds]

Action in live voice!
On the phone with Surfer Girl as she drove away shouting in her megaphone.
Myself in the back of a black car in route the the airport, to join my half in Geneva!

I think the driver nearly had an accident just as I burst-ed in an unstoppable, contagious laugh.

I guess in a way i was there, but I would have done anything to have seen the giant blow-ups deflate all together! That was the end of Christmas...