The Love Theme from Chinatown. From Roman Polanski's film (Bob Evans, producer). The initial echo-like trumpet that touches, then slides against the softest of blues backgrounds, before the lush strings sweep in and underpin the core melody. From the first moment I first heard it, as an inexperienced, teenage girl in a Jersey Shore movie theater, I was hooked, hypnotized.
I keep that melody in my memory - and I call it up whenever I want to tap into the loneliness and longing of missed romance and unrequited desire.
I took a man to my bed about three months ago. Tipsy and stoned, I put Chinatown on my sound system. That was a first - for me. From that first note, played on a zither (!), I breathed in deep, and turned and then went to him. It sounded glorious and full. Like my very own orchestra.
My skin against his skin, he felt warm and smooth. I stopped a moment and rolled over onto my back, my eyes half closed, listening, feeling the music - and the moment. I think I must have wanted this my whole life. I must have dreamed this. Waited for it, wanted it so much.
But..not much happened. Not with him. Not that night. Not since. I couldn't get started with him. All film noir in reel and real life.
Still I'm broken hearted. 'Cause I can't get started. With you.
In a flash the moment was complete. And then gone. Barely a magnitude 2.5. It was a moment nevertheless. Moments accrue, add up.
I still have the music. What's weird, is that he's still "in the picture." A conversation with him elicits the same reaction that Chinatown does. Almost.
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