Paulina

My grandmother - on my father's side - was put into a mental institution sometime in her late 30s or early 40s. Diagnosed with schizophrenia, she was a ward of the state until her death at the age of 93.

I was the only one from my immediate family to attend her funeral, in Babylon, NY. I took the train. I had never been to Babylon. I didn't know a single person there, but I was related to most of them. They welcomed me, they were kind.

When the casket was lowered into the grave, someone gave me a bag containing her last worldly possessions. It contained a single item, a cameo brooch:

The bag was marked "Mrs. Hodder." I didn't understand. The only "Mrs. Hodder" I had ever known was my mother, although she has not been "Mrs. Hodder" in almost twenty years.

Of course my grandmother must have been "Mrs. Hodder." She was married to my grandfather, Franklin Garth Hodder, a British emigrant to NYC by way of Ontario. He courted and wed Paulina Panalino, a diminutive woman, born on Elizabeth Street of Sicilian blood. He died of rheumatic fever when my father was a child.

I never knew Paulina. Maybe I met her three times in my life, the last when I was eleven years old, I think. We went to a hospital, a mental hospital. I remember red brick buildings, a park bench and a rolling green hill. It was late afternoon. We sat on the bench. The woman seemed so old to me. She was large but formless. She had speech, but nothing she said made sense. I was confused and awkward. We didn't stay long.

She belonged to the side of my family I never knew.

I am close to one of them now. He called me out of the blue, a couple-three weeks after I moved into my loft. I remember the tone of the voice message he left. "You don't know me, but I'm your cousin. Welcome to the neighborhood." He had the most wonderful, cut-it-with-a knife-thick Long Island accent, the roots of Brooklynese tempered by years in Nassau County. Brooklyn gone long, the vowels lengthened, forming more than a single syllable. I could hear the "w" when he said "know."

I remember I hung up the phone and stared at it. I'm related to someone whose name is C-five syllables-a? I called him right back.

He knew Paulina. She loved lemon drops, he told me. And they would sing "Baby Face" together, clapping hands.

He has a heart the size of the United States, this one. Cousin T.

I think we have the same nose.

Cousin T. was featured on The Apprentice, the spring 2005 season (Donald, natch). No, he wasn't an apprentice. As far as I know, the apprentices were assigned to do something at the store he manages.

He called and said, "So. Did you see me on The Apprentice?"

"No," I said. "Was I supposed to?"

"Oh. The contract I signed last year. The confidentiality clause."

"Did you tell me about that? Oh right," I remembered, "You did. So I missed it. The show, that is"

"Well you have to see it!" 

"Okay, I'll try to find it on CNBC or OnDemand or something."

I still haven't found it. I hope Cousin T has it on DVD. We can watch it together. And he'll make me laugh.

Comments

[donna fox]

I am not sure if this blog is still accepting comments. I just started doing a family tree. Franklin Garth Hodder was married to Grace Selleck. He would be my Great Grandfather. The Franklin G. born in 1904 was my grandmother Viola Hodder's brother. I would love to connect with any potential relatives.

Donna

[Mike]

You may have found another cousin - depends upon any further details you might know about your grandfather. It is an unusual name - Franklin Garth Hodder.

My cousin of the same name was born in New York in 1904, the son of a man of the same name who was born in St. Thomas, Ontario Canada. FG Hodder senior was married to Grace. I am descended from his father, a doctor from Toronto Ontario. Perhaps we are related. I hope so.

[Mike]

I agree about your writing - it is truly beautiful.

You may have found another cousin - depends upon any further details you might know about your grandfather. It is an unusual name - Franklin Garth Hodder.

My cousin of the same name was born in New York in 1904, the son of a man of the same name who was born in St. Thomas, Ontario Canada. FG Hodder senior was married to Grace. I am descended from his father, a doctor from Toronto Ontario. Perhaps we are related. I hope so.

[Anonymous L]

You kill me again! I don't know if I am just in that "emotional" state or you just write beautifully.